Last Sunday after live stream I checked my ps4 in desperation, taking Ingo’s advice about changing party composition (thus altering some invisible number values). I had to do this because this game is full of strange bugs, many of which can be fatal, and leave you unable to continue playing the game. A certain battle takes place under southpark’s police station that, Unbeknownst to you, if you choose the wrong team the game will soft lock in every scenario. I bitched and moaned to several people after checking the bug forums on ubisoft. Told a couple of people to just wait a few weeks till they patched the problems that pervaded on both the ps4 and the PC. Earlier my game soft locked after fighting the city ninja atop a construction tower. This was only resolved a day later when my game save mysteriously “updated” some value changed, and I appeared back in southpark with the mission complete after rounding the level for 20 minutes looking for the way out. In an even earlier then that scenario, my screen went completely black after a certain encounter involving cartman’s mom. I still maintain that this game is actually pretty quality entertainment, jokes landed well, music was fucking great, battle system was much easier to navigate. Game was complete in about 25 hours. Its hard to talk about this game without spoiling it so I will be cheap and just leave a link to an ACG review of it instead.
My one huge problem is that, Ubi pushed this game out the door with a 60$ price tag, full of bugs, additional 20$ DLC, and a campaign that only ran for 25 hours (your mileage will vary). At that price, considering I consume single player campaigns lasting upwards of 50 to 70 hours, I think this game would have been a far better value proposition at the 30$ mark. Ive heard others speak about the comparison of the movie ticket price which is typically 15-22$ per 2 hour experience, to the value you get from videos games in comparable dollar amounts. Ingo had mentioned that you’d be hard pressed to get anything less then 5$ per hour entertainment wise in any other genre other then video games. If that comparison holds true, then a comparable 8 hour movie experience equaling 60$ means that a game that only runs for 25 hours is still a steal. This also means that I have to assume that I have become an old entitled gamer over the years. Intentional eating only games from companies that over delivered at the sacrifice of a bit of quality or experience. Perhaps this will be a problem that I as an old rpg gamer will have deal with in the years to come. Even now I tend to bitch that I don’t have time for many games as it is.
Still, My Gut tells me that I should have waited till next year when the game had fallen in price. A 30-40$ price point would have been ideal for me.
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Also, My Birthday was on the 28th. Happy Birthday to me and thanks for the sweet gifts from Ingo, krill and my father. You guys are awesome.
♦ from Daniil 🙂
Thank you krill for the Donation. <3 We need to talk.
I purchased a silly hat from my now favorite hat store GrassrootsCalifornia. Behold! The shiniest hat in existence! https://www.grassrootscalifornia.com/products/orange-cosmic-mermaid-gold-glitter-snapback
As I told people on telegram, “I don’t think I could live never having had my head shine like Jesus on the way to the Indian buffet at least once.” I recommend this store and its premium limited edition art lids. They are a bit pricey, But your hat game WILL get noticed.
I get disappointing sighs from people wondering when I’ll ever draw more pictures of cars. I like cars, but they are on the bottom of my hierarchy of vehicles. Still, even without the Guns and armor they represent the majority populace of civilian machines that roam the land in the Atoll story.
Distressed IV
Jonny stood there gawking at her with his hand on his dick. He had read into the genitalia but he had never been able to imagine what it looked like, and now he didn’t have to try. Her bow was low and her ass was up, she was gently swaying it left and right seductively, the whole time his gaze was locked on the glistening silver vulva that was between her transmission bulges. Her turret was over the side and she was seductively gazing at him and licking lips. After a moment of locking eyes a hand beckoned him forward to her. He stuttered for a moment before he turned to her and moved forward. She nodded in approval and smiled at him with a wide, human like grin. “That’s right soldier boy, come get sum!”
He grinned back and as he got closer they got more and more excited, their bodies warmed up to the idea and started putting in the effort to get it on. Jonny got up close to and against her side and grabbed at her side plates, she grabbed his shirt and pants and they both giggled in a naughty fashion and they began stripping each other. She began with him and they slowly took off each piece of clothing to dramatize the moment. First his hat, then his shirt, and his shoes, and his socks, and his belt, and his pants, and finally his underwear. Once the underwear gave away and let go of his cock it shot up and bounced around taunting her as she stared at it. Watching a slob of drool slowly roll out of her mouth made Johnny feel like a man! “Now,” she said lapping up her drool and imaginary cock, “now undress me, mister.”
At first he didn’t know what to do, but her mud covers and spaced armor looked separated more than normal, and with a tug of what he wanted off it was off, she popped it off, and tossed it aside. Looking back to him from her tasks to see his excitement grow and grow. One by one, the various pieces came off. She counted down the parts taunting him, exaggerating numbers and pausing with the armor dangling from her hand like it was lingerie. “Twelve..,” “Eleven..,” “Ten!” “Nine! “Ei-ght..,” “Sev-ven..,” “.., Six..,” They had one side’s extra pieces off, the exposed treads and return rollers, and and the torsion bars, and the angled portion of her lower hull, it all made Johnny feel like a breeding bull, he had to pump her full! He moved more towards her port but she stopped him with a finger on his chin. “Ah, ah, ah! There’s still my left side, big man!” He lurched over and pulled on two at once, trying to rip them off with his bare hands. He was not strong enough to do it, but his intensity fueled Tankovy’s passion, she really REALLY wanted him, she wanted him deep and her vagina was telling her exactly how she wanted it. “Five and four.., a little excited now?” “Threeee..,” “Twwoo.., ..,” “ONE!” The last piece she flung into the air without a second thought, she felt hot, and she was hot! She felt sexy, loved, the way he was rubbing his body against hers made her feel desired, attractive, horny… Johnny finally slid across her body down to her ass end, her extra fuel tanks had been jettisoned so she could see him but she had moved a Jerry can in the way of her prize, her underwear for him to rip off. And that he did. “Ah-h-ah! OoooooOOOOOhhh…, I LOVED that, John! Give it to me, baby!!” He had ripped it off like a band aid, pulling out her clit and foreskin from the vulva to display it to him, his cock throbbed so much he had to stroke it, but she didn’t let him. She wrapped a tendril around the base and a hand around his mighty meat. Every throb and every pulse made her squirt a tiny bit, she so desperately longed for what was deep inside his cock and his two delicious testicles she so passionately fondled.
As he gazed down upon her loving and working his aching cock and balls with hands he looked at the thing he wanted from her, that mystical pussy she was swaying for him. Oh it looked like it had gotten shinier and more plump, but it didn’t look wet enough. He reached down and stroked it, probed it, poked and teased it. Sifting the clit like one sprinkles salt from their fingers, her mighty engine roared and she nearly fell back onto him as he did this to her. Her gorgeous eyes rolled straight up and she gritted her teeth and grunted and moaned as he touched her. She started passionately humping his hand and could only think about how fucked she was going to be.(It was very, VERY fucked!)
His hand toyed with her vulva and clit long enough to where she oozed her juice, and once she was hot and wet he finally removed his hand for her slit. It was covered in a coat of juice and thick strands clung to his hand as it drifted away. Tankovy took in deep breaths, she wasn’t sure how much more teasing she could take. She was cranking her turret around to her stern end when Jonny’s curiosity got the best of him and the teasing continued. He ducked down into her slit and lapped at her edges, feeling with his tongue and lips just how soft, and plush, and hot she really was. The mix of his lips and tongue and his scraggly beard came together and stimulated her pussy like never before, making it hard for her to keep turning up the incline she was doing for him. Once he committed to going the full length and really eating her he pressed his mouth against her puss and drove his tongue deep into her parting, welcoming folds. She moaned loud enough to match her engine’s mighty roar as her turret lost all grip and the gun drug her facing forward again. There she moaned and whined and shivered in excitement and ecstasy. Her engine purred and stuttered and roared with her. She had grabbed the back of his head and hair in a half-fist and half-clamp and kept his face pressured against her dripping wonderment. Jonny breathed in through his nose, smelling her raw body and how appealing her sex really was, it wasn’t human body funk he and the other guys got on deployment, wasn’t lovely perfume or soap that women used, it was her and nothing else, and the smell of her steel, juice, some exhaust, and his saliva really churned up his horniness. Her taste was even better, that iron-blood taste that coins and his tags had danced and swept across his tongue, her juice stuck just right to be enjoyable yet was slick enough to be usable-he really like his odds of enjoying her sex. She felt herself rising to the occasion but no, she needed to be fucked, not eaten, or toyed, or masturbated to her orgasm. She was gonna get it from his dick. She ripped him out and breathing very heavily she demanded he fuck her right and proper. “Oh I will, I will. But-“ he wiped the juice from his lips and beard.
“But what!?”
“But you’ve gotta put these tanks back on.” He tugged at the mounts for her external fuel tanks right on her ass. She took them off to see him, but she couldn’t get her gun up the incline so it didn’t matter anymore.
“Why?”
“I liked the way they shook.” “Alright then,” she hastily threw them back onto her mounts and strapped them in, “but you better shake them off soldier!”
“Count on it!” He grabbed his shaft and quickly got into place, he grabbed onto her engine deck with his left hand and stroked his cock up and down against her split vulva and exposed pussy when she begged for no more teasing. “It wasn’t a tease.”
He rocketed into her, the sudden penetration seized up her engine and made her lock up and groan almost painfully. She instantly rolled her eyes back and grabbed onto his ass and hips, holding him inside her while the shock wore off. Soon enough she had recovered and Jonny was doing his thing. He drew slowly and drove quickly, this made Tankovy rock forward and lean back, shaking those magical fuel tanks. She was speaking in fast Russian praising what Jonny was doing to her. But it was too good for Jonny, he hadn’t used himself like this in a long time and just as the saying goes, he didn’t use it so he lost it. All of a sudden it hit him like a sledgehammer and he jolted his hips up against her hull and shot his thick, full, heavy load deep into her pussy. He groaned and moaned in pleasure as the biggest orgasm he’d ever had rocked his body and made him weak, he felt his cock pump, then pump again, and again, another time, then he flexed some more, again, and he did this until he was soft. He was so embarrassed, he lasted what? A minute? If that. He felt so extremely embarrassed. He had talked up all that game and he dropped the ball. “Fuck! I let you down, didn’t I?” Tankovy giggled. “Get up here, John, I can fix this.” He marched up with his heads slumped in their defeat. She wrapped around his body and whisked him into then air, quickly his mind thought he was gonna die but she slung him into the drivers cupola where she could lick and suck on him. Here he noticed how small of a mouth she had compared to her body, her mouth was no bigger than his own mouth. She lapped on his cock and balls, licking from the bottom of the sack up to the tip of his head. While he was still soft her work ground his gears and he was quite weak with his body’s reactions, she was in total control of him then. Once his meat was licked clean of her pussy’s juice and his semen and had swollen enough to be a chub she put him into her mouth and sucked on him. He slumped over her turret and hugged her gun by his side, drooling onto her armor. She, too, was enjoying this, her eyes were closed and she was just using all her mind to focus on her mouth. More specifically his outlandish fleshy taste, the feel of his throb, the growing size take up more and more room. Once he was fully grown he started really leaking jizz, she sucked him like a straw and the cum in her ass and the cum on her tongue made her vibrate with ecstasy, that alone made her come to the brink of orgasming. She lapped and sucked and manipulated his cock for maybe ten minutes when he finally busted in her mouth. She gleefully sloshed it all over her mouth, getting his seed everywhere to tickle her fancy. He pulled out still rock hard and ready for more.
“You’re magical, Tankovy!” She licked her lips and met his gaze, they sat breathing heavily for a moment before she piped up. “Get back there, already!” He hopped out and jogged back to her oozing pussy. His cum was dripping out in glops from the creampie they’d made, he sort of admired his work and felt a little pride in what he had done to her. “What? Too messy for you?”
“Me? Fuuuck no!” He shoved it into her again, just like the first time and they both huddled against each other from the shock, and once the initial shock was over they proceeded just like the first time. Only this time it felt much MUCH better for both of them, his cock ground his previous visit’s gift deeper into her vagina and made her feel even more enjoyment from this while he could relax and feel her twitching around him, feel her vagina’s skin and metallic flesh grip him and rub him right, she was tighter and wetter, his cum acted as more lube and occasionally her whole body and pussy would vibrate and he’d sit inside her just mesmerized by how awesome that was. He would pick up the speed and listed to her romantic Russian language fly from her mouth and watch her fuel tanks bounce up and down, back and forth, the best ass he’s seen. He watched himself slide in and out, in and out, in and out, and it was awesome. He just kept going! On and on! Tankovy was getting closer and closer and closer to her limit, she had been holding it off for a long time but she really wanted to get rocked by this orgasm. She wanted a crippling fuck out of him, one where she’d be feeling this for the rest of the week. So far she’s been getting exactly that and then some. But she expected to be sore after the sex, but her body had begun aching during the sex, this made her worry if she could last as long as him. She didn’t have much to worry about as Jonny soon announced he was close to cumming again. She felt his huge throbbing cock, dashing in and out of her, shiver and quake as his thrusts slowed and his draws pained. Suddenly he was completely against her armor and huge loads were shot even deeper than before into her. “YES! YES! YES! YES!” She cried out. “MORE CUM! DEEPER BABY DEEPER!” Her arms wrapped around him and held him to her body as she was filled with him. He pumped less than his first visit into her but it went deeper and made her even more squirmish and pleasuring. Her pussy throbbed around his man meat and gave him quite the encouragement to stay but he had to go. He backed out almost stumbling and falling on his ass but he caught himself on her fuel tank. “Oh Jonny! I want to taste myself, Jonny!” She beckoned him up to her bow again and he soldiered on dog-tired though he was.
“Goddamn, how much more you want, woman? Jesus Christ!” He stumbled up to her where she sheepishly pulled him in. He went in for a kiss but an arm held him back.
“Whoa, are you going to make me swallow it?” He was puzzled, swallow what?
“Wait, you didn’t swallow?”
“No,” she said blushing, she was a little embarassed by her little fetish, “I like it in my mouth.” He smiled and giggled a bit and stood up some. “Ah, I won’t make you swallow!” He bent his aching and cramping back over to plant a smooch right over her gun mantle. He placed his slumped and soggy meat in her face and she gleefully slurped it up into her mouth, tenderizing it and cleaning it off with her mouth. She knew how beat he was, she wrapped him up in her arms and stretched him on her turret face, relaxing his muscles and soothing his cramps, just how she knew he liked it. His taste was exhilarating and addicting. His cock had a coating of his cum mixed, almost diluted, with her slick machine lube and right at the top was the strongest and most potent part of his cum, it was like a twinkle she’d later compare it to, but right now it was like nothing she had ever had and just like Twinkies, was a real treat she wanted more of. She a had huge and unwavering smile born from his delicious cock that pinched and held him better than her own pussy, he enjoyed this a little more because he was getting massaged everywhere, he was resting, he was relaxed, and he had a beautiful woman to pleasure his sex drive without even complaining. He bet that she was enjoying it more than him, and for once the man was right. She never wanted that night to end.
Once his coatings of cum had been slobbered off they separated and laid down for the night to rest. Jonny curled up under a very nice and complete blanket that Tankovy had been keeping around and he had a nice makeshift pillow bridging the driver’s chair and the cupola rim for him to sleep on. Tankovy’s dirty dream to be sore the next few mornings was well secured, she was already sore and really felt his presence as she painfully laid down on her belly. She tossed the tarp used to hide her stolen goods over her gun barrel and roof for a shade in the upcoming morning, though light did burn through neither were woken by it. It was this moment where Jonny knew she was most attached to him he proposed instead of returning to Russia where she knew no lovers to go with him back to America, where she would have him. Deep down she craved to go back to Russia, but her heart and body begged and throbbed to go wherever he goes. Her mind was made to go but just in case something did come up she told him “Possibly, big American soldier,” and let them sleep huddled together under the bright moon-lit night.
When she did wake up she had a mini-orgasm when his taste and tingle was still in her mouth.
Fin Distressed IV
Yay! I finally bullied myself into putting out porn again! Yay! My absolute next goal is to put out the next chapter for HaM, the expected after-party sex scene of hot proportions. But to be frank my desire is to skip over that part and move on with their lives and not write a sex scene because it kinda feels repetitive, *insert painfully bad acting of a thumbs up and forced smile here* yay! But no I’m doing alright, really, but I’ve had a taste of not writing porn and instead writing lore and story and cool stuff and I like that, and I have a whole new schedule that kinda sucks for free time so, only time will tell. And my self motivation to get my lazy ass up and do shit.
But hey! What’s a machine you wouldn’t mind doing the sex with but would rather just be swamped by emotion just being able to see up close? For me it’s the T-55. Hands down. Yeah the Tiger II or Maus may be my favorites but I really do have a soft spot for T-55s and this story for me kind of relates to that. T-72s are not T-55s, but hey, meh. I don’t know when I’ll do something with a T-55, or if I even will at all. Just has a lot of memories for me, and is probably one of the first weird mental imaginary friends that little kids come up with. (Like seriously if Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends was a real thing my friend would be the motha fuckin boss of that shit).When I think back I got my interest with those cold war era Russian tanks from a game called Desert Storm: Iraqi Freedom and Desert Storm: Desert Shield, two games that a kid probably shouldn’t have been playing at that age but hey, I turned out kinda okay? Oh gawd why am I talkin’ ’bout this shit? It’s fucking late, I’m tired. IF I do post this shit I might delete this section I have no clue. IDK, maybe I’ve been too reclusive since I’ve been here, for what? Four years? Three? Fuck. Maybe I’ve been too reclusive and this is like “hey I’m a hooman being, too” or it’s just way outta context and it’s like “dude I’m here for your fap shit, not your deep thought tired-ass having-ass bullshit”. I swear I’m not high. Promise.
I mentioned in a previous post that I would post more videos of the last 2 trips I went on. Welp, Turns out I’m an awful cameraman and some of these things weren’t good enough to show. What Is marginally good enough to show can be found in my channel if you click the video window, It should take you to YouTube proper and then just click on my portrait.. or better yet here.
I Kickstarted this game about 3 years ago, 1. Because it was a CRPG, 2. Because In-exile is the safest bet in town when it comes to crowdfunding a game, and 3. Because the game in question was billed as “a spiritual successor game to the 1998 hit Planescape torment” but written using famed game creator Monte Cook’s latest and greatest game world. Now that I’ve beaten the game, I can say that I agree largely with the Metacritic user score of 7.0. even though a 7/10 is considered a “low to average score” by today’s warped standards. that is to say, that I think this game is a good game. What saves it, is the creativity of the world and npcs behind the Numenera game world, but a successor to Planescape torment- this is not. Their has been a glorious resurgence with classic top down isometric western rpgs as of late. I was there for Obsidian’s Pillars of Eternity, For paradox’s Tyranny, Laurian studio’s Divinity original sin, and for In-Exile’s recent build of wasteland 2. All of these games where good in their own right, and had worlds rife with history, strange characters, and many paragraphs of shit to read…lots and lots of shit to read. Tides of Numenera Is worth a play imo, but only if you are super serious about Crpgs. They did a great job of not following the same system of game play as everyone else, opting for actions that are instead largely determined by 3 simple “effort” stats and how much of these stat pools you are willing to spend per rest, “Might, Intellect, Dexterity” on anything from a combat maneuver, to grabbing a falling object, resisting a memory, deceiving others ect. The game’s world is full of a rich yet minimally understood history of the planet now known as ‘The Ninth world”. This is a place where Earth- a billion years in the future, and after countless civilizations have risen and fallen, have left all of their wild, dangerous tech behind for the people living in the aftermath to piece together. Life goes on, the people endure visitation from aliens and other spectral creatures from parallel realities. This is a sort of sci-fi steampunk world. It would be fantastic, but their are certain issues that keep this good game from being a great game.
1. The plot is incredibly slow, and eliminates all sense of player urgency by spoiling most of the best plot points in act 1. I don’t want to spoil it, but this story is more about you being a detective and finding out how things got to be the way they are. If you are looking for an action packed game with huge plot twists and turns, Its really not going to be here for you. This game is a slow burn.
2. Largely uncompelling party members in a backdrop of incredible NPC stories, and world building efforts make traveling with them just an excuse to have a couple of meat shields around if you piss off the wrong guy. (However, Erittus the token shallow pretty boy Glaive character’s story turned out to be really fucking cool in the end, you just don’t learn this till the game is nearly over).
3. Bugs, and a combat UI that really needed a couple more days in the oven.
On a much better note, This game is not without its pluses too. This game lets you be an asshole if you so desire, a feature that has been sanitized out of many AAA rpgs as of late. The game drives home the idea that you and the sire that created you, have caused countless major changes in history- good and bad. Your presence is revered, feared, studied by the npcs that have come to know the mysterious race known as “the castoffs” You aren’t hamfisted into being an altruist, but you can be if you choose. Also, Virtually any way you choose to build your main character will not paint you into a wall, because you can upgrade your party members to have the conversations that you cant have. The writing is overall superb, and the concepts within the space of the Ninth world I find are very much up my alley. If you like aliens, and the concept of transdimensionality then I think this game could possibly be for you. But if you revel in MinMaxing a character for epic combat then this game will probably put you to sleep. Still a great value for 20$ though. I took my time.. got 55 hours out of it. its a solid B-
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Ok So, It has been 100 days since my new life has begun. I am coming up on my 37th birthday with a wonderful career future ahead (Thanks in no small part to my dad). That said, even though taking time to get a full years worth of professional credit on my resume is NOT a waste of time, Dad was right on one thing. Be wary of people dicking you around even if you get hired. Employers can string you along for a loong long time without actually physically hiring you. I think Its bullshit that my love and I can be working full time hours but continue to be boondoggled out of our healthcare benefits because company bean counters find its cheaper to rent then to own in the long term. To Ingo: I don’t know if you are reading this, but the Theater group doesnt pay you what you are worth even by Missouri standards. If that was true, you’d be getting medical benefits like a real employee for the 50 hours a week you pull. I believe in you though. We will both improve as time goes on. Thank you soo much for the birthday gift. The home is becoming a wonderful machine shrine and I think youl be really happy over here.
Got back in contact with Jaimie/frenchy. They seem really happy living in the Indiana Forrest with their menagerie even without the internet. I must make a point to visit them for a few days in the spring.
** I also want to emphasize again, Thank you sincerely to all the patreon subscribers who give a dollar to the tip jar, As Ive had to hire an outside group to monitor this website in case things break. I am not Code literate at all, and those services however simple they may be, don’t come terribly cheap.
Last Sunday after live stream I checked my ps4 in desperation, taking Ingo’s advice about changing party composition (thus altering some invisible number values). I had to do this because this game is full of strange bugs, many of which can be fatal, and leave you unable to continue playing the game. A certain battle takes place under southpark’s police station that, Unbeknownst to you, if you choose the wrong team the game will soft lock in every scenario. I bitched and moaned to several people after checking the bug forums on ubisoft. Told a couple of people to just wait a few weeks till they patched the problems that pervaded on both the ps4 and the PC. Earlier my game soft locked after fighting the city ninja atop a construction tower. This was only resolved a day later when my game save mysteriously “updated” some value changed, and I appeared back in southpark with the mission complete after rounding the level for 20 minutes looking for the way out. In an even earlier then that scenario, my screen went completely black after a certain encounter involving cartman’s mom. I still maintain that this game is actually pretty quality entertainment, jokes landed well, music was fucking great, battle system was much easier to navigate. Game was complete in about 25 hours. Its hard to talk about this game without spoiling it so I will be cheap and just leave a link to an ACG review of it instead.
♦ from Daniil 🙂
